By now, most of us have seen clips of the now-infamous number on the VMA awards, and we’ve exchanged opinions on creepy teddy bears, foam fingers and nude bikinis. We’re shocked and disappointed that Hannah Montana has disintegrated, giving rise to this unwelcome, over-sexed femme fatale.

(photo courtesy sheknows.com)

But we shouldn’t be surprised.

Our daughters might not be nearly nude on TV and our sons might not be ESPN cautionary tales…but the growing-up metronome is set at a high tempo in our tiny town, and probably in yours, too. We’re frantically running a  Race to Nowhere, and our kids are stressed, anxious and exhausted.

We live in a world that is obsessed with the fast lane. In some cases, kids are almost like products, chiseled and sculpted and polished.  They’re pressed toward sophistication so they can create a unique, competitive image. The intensity and rigor are celebrated, because we know that pressure can create a sparkling diamond that will shine brightly in a mound of ordinary stones.

But we need to remember that pressure can also create fissures and broken pieces.

When I saw the video of Miley, my bloggy fingers were creeping toward the keyboard…I was so tempted to saddle her with lots of blame, and point out where her parents and managers have gone wrong. But my niggling conscience made me examine how I have managed the young people–my children!–for whom I am responsible. Because Miley’s antics will soon be faded fodder, but my kids will always be on the front page of my life.  I’ve been asking myself what my husband and I are doing well…and  in what areas we need to create firmer boundaries, provide more encouragement, step out of the way, or shut our mouths and listen.

As our kids continue to grow and change, we’ll plan and evaluate and adjust.

And we’ll slow down.

There’s just so much beauty in ordinary stones…I don’t want to miss it because I am too busy trying to create a diamond.